Kristen (00:00.865)
Hi. I have both dogs here today, which I am gonna try and send them to Doggie Daycare when I do video podcasts, especially if I'm doing an interview. But today we have both doggies and it's really cold outside, so they have to cuddle with me. So hopefully they will be good while I record this episode. But I'm so excited to be here. I had two topics that were going back and forth in my mind.
and I was trying to decide which one I wanted to bring and I figured, okay, for my podcast audience, which has been with me since my coaching days, the most important topic I have to talk about is letting the dream evolve. And I promise I'll make an episode for the other thing I was thinking of talking about, but today we're talking about letting the dream evolve. And this is going to be a little bit tricky because I know for me, it's been a little bit tricky. And I'm just gonna be brutally honest with you.
So there have been times where I've been like so high on my book writing journey. I've been in love with my new life and like everything is going so amazing and I wouldn't change a thing. But then I look at someone who's in the coaching industry, who's, you know, raking in those six figure months or maybe there's million dollar months. And I find I'm still jealous of that person. And for a long time, for a long time, I was like, what is wrong with me?
I chose to go on this different path, first out of necessity because the coaching industry was really toxic for my mental health, but second because that's what my heart was calling me to. I wanted to write a book. I've wanted to write a book from when I was a kid. So why am I still jealous of these people that I don't even want to be?
And I think that's the most important thing you have to ask yourself whenever you're experiencing jealousy or envy is, am I jealous of someone that I want to be or am I jealous of something that they have that I want to call into my life, right? And at first I thought I was jealous that their businesses skyrocketed and imploded. That's a little dramatic, it wasn't quite that bad, but it was, you know.
Kristen (02:13.438)
I had a lot of mental health stuff going on and that led to some failures in my business. So I thought I was jealous of their businesses. I thought I was jealous of their success. And it turns out I wasn't. And I had to realize, OK, my dream has evolved. But I had to also see, what am I projecting onto them that I think I don't have or I don't have the ability to receive with my new career path?
Because that is a big thing that I bet you are doing right now if you are experiencing jealousy for someone who is at a higher level of success than you. Are you projecting things onto them that you think you can't have, right? So for me, I was projecting onto them, they have so much freedom. They have so much financial freedom, which by the way, I have. I have financial freedom. My husband's job is excellent. He gets excellent pay.
and my book is gonna sell millions of copies this year. So like the financial freedom is there for me already. So it was really weird because I was watching myself be envious of these coaches that were like slaying in their businesses. And I was like, this doesn't make any sense because I'm not jealous of their actual financial freedom. I mean, yeah, some of them are making million dollar months. We're not making that much, but I'm not like, I know I'm gonna get there. So I'm not like jealous of
that and I realized, I've projected onto their businesses something that I think I can't get with my new path as an indie author. And that was the time freedom. And it's hilarious. It's like mind blowing that I was projecting that onto them because I have so much time freedom. I wrote my book in 111 days because I had so much time freedom that I could just.
follow a passion project of mine. And so I'm like jealous of things I already have, but I was like projecting it onto them because why? Because they had achieved a dream that I thought I wanted, but it turns out I don't want. Yes, I want the success, I want the financial freedom, I want the time freedom, and I also have that, and I also want to grow that. But I don't want their careers. And this is such...
Kristen (04:35.775)
This is such a mind-fudging monkey for me. I am trying not to curse on this podcast because I am doing video podcasts now on YouTube, which by the way, if you're listening to the audio version of this, you can get the video version link, the YouTube link in the show notes. And it's just me hanging out with my dogs. So nothing super interesting yet, but maybe you like to watch me on your big screen TV while you're doing the dishes or something. I like to do that with my video podcasts. Anyway.
So I wasn't jealous of their careers, but for a long time I thought I was. And I kept like going back and forth like, no, I want to be a writer. I'm loving this. I'm having more fun in my career than ever before. This is so uplifting. I'm so lit up by this as a manifesting generator. I'm so lit up, right? Why am I jealous of this old career path that I already tried, didn't fall in love with in the same way and failed at? And it's because I was still attached to an old dream.
I was attached to an old dream, one that doesn't even meet my standards anymore. My old dream is what I had projected onto the coaching industry careers, like the multimillionaires in the coaching industry, which was that they would have incredible financial freedom, incredible time freedom, and this ability to get paid to be themselves. And yes, they have all those things.
But what I didn't realize until I got in it was how much of a rat race it actually is.
Pause for a sip of coffee. It really is a rat race. I definitely believe people at the top, they have team members, they have structures, they have automations in place to where it's not a rat race, right? And there are ways to build that over time. But I had this profound realization that it wasn't really the passive income that I was sold, you know, seven years ago when I decided to get involved in this world.
Kristen (06:39.472)
And so I was jealous of this idea of passive income, but if you are a coach, a business owner, you know that it is not truly passive income. Even if you're making millions, even if everything is automated, even if you only show up for your calls, there is so much active work that goes in to maintaining a coaching or online course based business that
You really can't call it passive income. I mean, maybe you can, maybe that's part of your marketing, but it is not truly passive income.
And I'm gonna tell you, I was projecting this idea of like, they truly have passive income onto their business models. But let's just get into the nitty gritty. Okay, so like if you have an online course or coaching based business, let's go to the bare minimum of what you have to do to maintain your business and to keep the money coming in, right? So at a bare minimum, you have a course hosting platform, right? You have a course hosting platform. You have to pay for that every month.
You have to maintain it. You have to make sure it's still functional. You have to make sure the content in your course is still relevant, right? So five years from now, 10 years from now. And I know there are creators. One I'm thinking of is Amanda Francis. They've created timeless content. And I think if I were to get back into the coaching industry, I would absolutely focus on creating timeless content in my courses, which I will be doing with my financial program when I...
do that this year.
Kristen (08:23.694)
But unless you're creating timeless content, if you're creating content about how to grow your social media account or how to sell people or how to whatever, how to reach 10K months, that's not gonna be timeless. It never will be timeless. It's gonna be something you're gonna have to keep pouring time and energy into to maintain. So I was projecting this idea of like, these really successful course creators.
they've got all this passive income coming in when really they don't. Yeah, again, they might have a team, might have automations, but at some point they're gonna have to update some of these courses or at least switch the course platform. And at a bare bare minimum, they have customer payments to keep up with. They have the customer service aspect of their business. If you're operating at scale,
And this is what I'm talking about. It's not passive when it's at scale. If you're operating at scale, you have customer inquiries coming in via email. forgot their password, people forgot this, people need to change their payment plan, people have failed payments and you need to reach out. So it's just, I mean, you can automate so much of it, but at scale, when you're truly at scale, it's still active work to maintain a course-based business. But here's the beautiful thing.
I wrote a book. And it's not a personal development book. It's a fiction book.
and fiction books are timeless. Now there are maybe a small percentage of them that are less timeless, like contemporary literature, those probably fade in and out of favor pretty quickly. But I wrote a fantasy romance novel. It's not set in a contemporary time, it's not associated with current events, it is its own freaking universe.
Kristen (10:24.317)
So I created this book in nine months. I wrote the first draft in 111 days. Second draft I wrote in like 40 days. Third draft I think I wrote in like another 40 days. So I created this book and with editing and getting the cover ready and uploading everything, it took about nine months to create this book.
Kristen (10:48.016)
It's going on sale February 1st, which if you haven't pre-ordered my book yet and you like romantic fantasy novels, go pre-order my book, The Queen Rises by Kristen Cipriano. Just do that. That'll be my birthday present. It comes out on my birthday, February 1st. The links are in the show notes. But when that book comes out, I will sell that book my entire life. I will sell that one book that I created in nine months of my life forever.
and I'm self published. So I own the rights to the content. I get the highest royalties. mean, yeah, Amazon takes a little cut, like, in terms of effort, once the book is out there, the only thing I have to do to quote unquote, maintain this business of this book is market it.
There's no customer service I have to do. Amazon deals with that. There's no like back end course platforms I have to maintain. Amazon maintains my ebook, right? And my paper bag, they do all the printing. I don't have to own a printing press or figure out how to maintain a printing press. It's all done for me. I spent nine months creating this book.
I will never touch it again. It will be the same 30 years from now as it will be today.
other than maybe a special edition or something, a special edition hardcover, which I will be creating one day for fun for the fans, right? For the readers who are obsessed with it. I will absolutely do that one day, but that's gonna be fun, right? But like, that is truly passive income. You know what I mean? So like, and I've already created it. I've already created the book. People love it. People are comparing it to the Throne of Glass series by Sarah J. Maas.
Kristen (12:46.883)
Some people are saying they love it as much as Throne of Glass and Akatar. And then in addition to comparing it to those series, they're also saying, it's so refreshing and unique and it's its own book, which I did all of that intentionally. And that is the next topic I wanna talk about on this podcast. So make sure you hit that subscribe button if you haven't yet, because I'm gonna talk about how to create something from a state to ensure that it gets you the results that you want, AKA how I wrote a book.
that people are gonna compare to top authors like Sarah J. Maas and the Akatar series and the Throne of Glass series. That was all intentional. I decided that before I wrote the first sentence. And I built my mindset around that so that while I was creating it, I was creating it from a state of the end result I wanted, which was people having Akatar levels of obsession with my book. Okay, so.
I've created this passive income product, my book, The Queen Rises by Kristen Cipriano. It's done. 30 years from now, it will be the exact same as it is today, barring special editions I decide to create. That is a passive income product. The only thing I have to do is market it. And at a certain point, it'll market itself because the fan base will be so big that the fan base will market it for me. That's the other like...
intention I've had and I've been holding for this book since I wrote the first freaking sentence since I came up with the title since I wrote the outline so I'm looking at these people in the coaching industry and they're quote-unquote passive income products and no shade to them a lot of people find success that way I'm not like poo-pooing those business models despite my own you know situation of having bad experiences in the industry that's not what it's about
I'm just saying like I was jealous of something that they can't even offer me, right? Like I was jealous of their quote unquote passive income online course income, but the level of passive income they're gonna experience is not the same as the level of passive income I'm gonna experience with my book, which my children and my grandchildren will make money from my book because they will inherit the rights to my book. They will inherit my publishing company. That is passive income. If I've ever heard of passive income.
Kristen (15:05.914)
I spent nine months making the book and then it's done. It doesn't require updates. It's not like a personal development book where I might want to change things to like fit the contemporary era. No, it's done. I will never touch it again. And it's going to make me millions upon millions upon millions of dollars for the rest of my life and for my children's lives and for my grandchildren's lives. And it's timeless. It's timeless. So.
How can you apply this to your own situation?
First of all.
yourself if you're jealous of someone what exactly are you jealous of that you think that they have because maybe they don't even have it I was jealous of the passive income with these you millionaire coaches they don't really have it the way I want it maybe it's the way they want it and they're completely happy and that's valid but it's not the way I wanted it my definition of passive income is you make it once you don't have to touch it and it makes you money
forever and ever and ever. I don't know why I'm seeing a thumbs up on my little video podcast here, but it is, right? So I was jealous of something that I thought they had, but they didn't have. So if you're jealous of someone who's more successful than you, what are you projecting onto them that you think that they have, that you don't? Especially if you're jealous of someone who's on a different path, right? And that's the key here. We don't want to get distracted about someone who's on a different path. If we've chosen our path,
Kristen (16:36.643)
And our path aligns with our heart and soul. For me, writing books, you want to stay in your lane. And if you find yourself like looking at other industries and you're like, wow, I'm jealous of this, ask yourself, well, am I certain that I don't have this in my career? Am I certain that this thing that I think that they have that I don't isn't possible for me? The answer is probably no. Or maybe the answer is yes, which means maybe you need to restructure things or maybe you need to.
explore a different business model or a different offer suite or a different kind of book you want to write or whatever. But a lot of times when we're jealous, we're not really going deeper than the emotion. We're letting the jealousy take over and then we're letting it make us feel insecure or like crap about ourselves. And we're letting that jealousy fuel us into thinking that we made the wrong decisions that we took wrong turns.
I made no wrong turns. I made no wrong turns. I'm exactly where I need to be doing exactly what I need to be doing in the exact way I need to be doing it to experience the levels of success and passive income that I have always desired. Since I like was 18 years old and I even learned what passive income was, this is what I have always desired. And I've created it over the past nine months. So that's the first thing is if you're jealous,
make sure you investigate that jealousy and where it's really coming from and what it's really about because chances are you probably can do something in your own situation to not feel jealous of that person, to have that in your own life. The other thing is let the dream evolve, right? So if you stay attached to the old dream, but that dream doesn't ultimately serve your desires,
You're gonna be running in circles for the rest of your life.
Kristen (18:38.692)
Realize that your desires are what are gonna lead you to the life that you actually love, feel satisfied by, want to be living. know, last year I did the 111 desires list for 2024 and I had my most abundant, wonderful, loving, prosperous, satisfying year yet. This year I'm doing it again.
And because I'm focused on my desires, because I'm focused on running my life, I don't know if y'all can hear that coffee maker in the background, I apologize for that. Because I'm focused on running my life from a desire-led place, it allows me to stay on the right path no matter what and to always be happy and fulfilled and satisfied with my life.
I always come back to my desires. And if it's not gonna lead to something I desire, I don't need to be doing it, right? Like building a whole new course and coaching business while I am gonna create that financial program this year, but building like the old kind of business model that I used to have, that's not gonna come anywhere near to like what I want to experience in my life. Like it's so far removed from my desires.
I don't want it anymore.
And so that's the other piece of this is check your jealousy and your envy against your desires. Because maybe you're pining for an old dream that you don't even want anymore. And it's just a distraction and it's taking you out of your lane and you need to let it go.
Kristen (20:28.78)
So that's what I have for you today. My book, The Queen Rises by Kristen Cipriano comes out February 1st. I'm just gonna pull up an Instagram post and I'm gonna read the actual advanced reader feedback that I've gotten because it's really, really good. These are other people's words. These are not my words, but I just wanna share some reviews. So if you've been thinking about getting the book, you know what other people think about the book. Okay, so one person said,
I read the first three chapters a few days ago and I'm not even kidding you when I say I cannot stop thinking about it. My heart yearns for the rest of the book. It is such a unique story and I love your writing style. So she downloaded the three free chapters that you can preview at KristenCipriano.com. Go to my website, scroll to the bottom of the homepage, enter your email address and I will immediately send you the first three chapters of the book. So do that. That's a great way to preview the book for free, okay?
Another person said, I just finished chapter one. Damn, if I didn't have Friday night plans, I'd already be diving into chapter two. Another person said, literally, it's so good. I just finished chapter one. Another person said, hey, I just wanted you to know I've been reading your advanced reader copy on the plane and I cannot put it down. I'm hooked. Another person said, of course, I've been reading fantasy books since I was 10 and I seriously think this book sits equal to throne of glass series for my number one spot. Your writing is amazing.
Another person said, I'm 40 pages away from the end, just speechless. I have so many good things to say about this book. And yes, very thrown of glass, but also very, very unique and different from that. It is so, so good. I literally read this for five hours straight on my flight back home and time absolutely flew. Another person said, not one ounce of page was wasted. I think in every book I've ever read, I've skipped over a page or two, cause it's boring, but I read every single word. You were gonna make it big time girl. I just know it.
Another person said this story is seriously so good. Your writing is blowing it out of the water. I really can't wait for the rest of book talk to get their hands on this. Another person said just a few more I promise. Getting uncomfortably close to the end of the book. I'm gonna need you to get cranking on the next one. Another person said if you're reading this get this book you will love it I promise in all caps. Another person said girl I wrote my review on Goodreads I'm in a book slump now after finishing The Queen Rises last night.
Kristen (22:52.575)
Another person said, I'm so honored to be one of the first people to read your work. So excited for book two. I mean, it's just an amazing book. And I made it that way, right? Like I intended for it to get this type of response from people before I even wrote the first sentence. And so subscribe to soul expansion, subscribe to this podcast, because next episode, I'm going to teach you how to create whether it's a book or an online course or a coaching program.
or a movie or a screenplay or a physical product, whatever it is, I'm gonna teach you how to create from a state. And when you create from a state, it's not actually you creating it, it's God creating through you. So we're gonna talk all about that in the next episode on this podcast, but make sure you subscribe, get the book, The Queen Rises by Kristen Cipriano, and I'll see you in the next one.